I’m
going to explore the interesting concept of loving everyone. Many times
in the Scripture it was said that you are to love and not hate. I get
that part, I really do because hating someone just brings judgment upon
yourself in the form of illness, bitterness, etc. This is a paraphrase of
Scripture but it goes, “You’re kidding yourself if you say you love God but
hate your brother.” One definition of hate is, “intense or passionate dislike” or
“intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of
injury.” So maybe I love more than I thought I did. I guess I was thinking I had to feel good
about everyone, because quite frankly I don’t.
I don’t like everyone I meet. I’m
usually kind and polite but I was thinking I was some kind of phony when I did
not want to spend a lot of time with them.
I
met an exotic dancer once while a group of us were at her club telling the
ladies about Jesus. We would go to the clubs in a group of three for safety
purposes and so as not to appear there for any alternative reason. The girls
would come over and talk to us and we would often bring them small gifts, for
example: make-up, candy or some other
small token to tell them we cared about them. It was sweet and we were
welcomed even by the owners, as we bought a drink or two and didn’t draw any
attention to ourselves. As much as three church ladies in a strip club can
blend in, that is. When we would first arrive, our long skirts and our “Little
House on the Prairie” bonnets would give us away and we would turn some heads.
(Just kidding, we dressed normally.) We walked in casually and just made
ourselves at home, no one seemed to mind that we were there.
One
night one of the dancers came over to talk to us, and for lack of a better way
to put it, she would not shut up. Talking about anything and everything
and contradicting her stories and I couldn’t help but think, “What a waste of time
this is!” I didn’t find her to be truthful or sincere; she just wanted to
hear herself talk. She left for a minute
to “purchase condoms” and the other two ladies and I left before she had the
chance to return. I thought to myself that was a pretty rude way of
exiting but I was grateful to be away from her as this nonstop chatter had
already gone on for more than an hour. It was idle conversation with no
substance whatsoever, just rambling about nothing. So, when we got in the car,
there was no mention about what just took place. For lack of a more polite way to put it, I
said, “What a waste of time that was. I
couldn’t stand listening to her.” Neither
of the other two said anything, they were silent. I said, “It may not be
nice but I’m the only honest one to say what we are all thinking.” They were all ready to ditch the dancer when
the first opportunity came up, I would have at least explained to her why we
were leaving. Something like, “We have
to leave but we want you to know that Jesus loves you and when you are ready to
turn to Him, He will be the best listener you have ever had.” But I sort
of felt chastised in the car simply for putting into words what we all thought
and they put on the church lady front of, “Be nice. Jesus loves her too.” Yes, I do know Jesus loved the dancer, but I
think He too was rolling His eyes the way the night was going. Not just at the dancer’s conversation but at
the impolite way she was abandoned when she went for prophylactics.
They
were sugar sweet to her face, but ditched her at first opportunity. But
there are two sides to this story, too.
I need to forgive the ladies that were with me. I’ve always felt a
little bit bad about that exit. The
dancer may well have been high on something and maybe doesn’t even remember the
incident but I do. I also felt bad that they were silent when I talked
about the obvious thing that had just happened.
I looked up to those ladies who went with me to the strip clubs and they
fell off their pedestal that day. Was it their fault or mine? The more I think about it, it was mine
because I am the one who put them up there and set the whole thing up for
failure. The only one who has earned the
right to be on the throne is God and God alone. Everyone will fall short
at some time or another, except Jesus.
So here is my formal recognition to say I forgive the ladies who went to
the clubs with me. I have harbored resentment
in my heart because of my own issues and insecurities.
One
of the main reasons I stopped going to the strip clubs was because I can’t “hear”
very well in a bar setting. I never could. I didn’t like to pretend that I could hear so
I wouldn’t miss something important. Sometimes I would just not even attempt to
make conversation. Our group of six went out to a Mexican restaurant to plan
for the future trips to the clubs and there was loud music in the background,
just like in the clubs. All five of them were conversing and I could tell
they had no problem distinguishing the words from the background music. I took that as a sign that God was saying,
this is not what I have for you. I stopped going to strip clubs but here
is a little bit of what I learned from my time doing it.
•
The ladies are hard working and not on
the welfare rolls
•
Most are supporting children/some are
married
•
Most have been molested as little
girls
•
It is a tough business with a lot of
competition
•
They have hopes and dreams of a better
life like anyone else
•
I was much more disturbed by the men
than the ladies who were just making a living
•
I would come home and have to shut my
mind down from the images I saw
•
And finally, but for the grace of God
go I. Thank God I couldn’t dance!
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