I didn't see this coming...

I was doing a Bible Study and the following questions were posed:

When we serve with our focus strongly and solely on Jesus, our attitude stays healthy and our hearts continue to be joyful.  List other possible consequences of serving out of love for Jesus.

What are some dangers and potential pitfalls of offering acts of service with the intention of making people happy, getting something in return, or making people the focal point of our service?

Select one of the following acts of service and describe how our hearts beat differently and our attitudes are healthier if we serve out of love and devotion for Jesus and not for the person we are serving:

•              Going on an international mission trip

•              Serving meals at a city mission

•              Holding worship services at a retirement center

•              Tutoring a child through a local school

•              Sponsoring a child through Compassion International

•              Buying a stranger lunch

•              Some other act of service…

I had a confession to make. I sponsor two children for Compassion International, and I have wanted to get rid of one of them.  I have sponsored Jamesly for 13 years and never once in those 13 years have I ever felt close to him. I ask him questions repeatedly and he never answers them.  About a year ago or so I called Compassion International to complain and find out how long he will still be in the program (because of his age).  I was told that what I could do was ask questions and label them 1. 2. 3. 4., etc.  And that I could see that maybe it was Jesus I was serving and this was not for me.  I numbered the questions I asked him and still nothing.  I wanted a relationship with the child I was sponsoring; you know something in it for me.  I wanted a nice letter back from him telling me how he loved Jesus and a glimpse of what his daily life was like.  I literally got, “How are your activities?”  He wrote that in every letter for 13 years.  I threw most of them out.  I even declined to send him a birthday gift last year because I was frustrated with the lack of relationship in the letters.  Mind you, he is a poor child in Haiti and I think I’m serving him donating money each month.  I was really serving myself.

So it hits me.  I’m to serve Jesus, not Jamesly or myself with my sponsorship.  13 years and the revelation hit me.  I’ve been given a gift that I haven’t opened and I have been grumbling that I was not given a gift.  Okay, that’s deep.  I serve out of love and devotion for Jesus and for no other reason. No ulterior motive, no backup plan, just Jesus—completely, wholly, all-encompassing devotion for Jesus.  Make me humble before the Lord.  “I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum.”  It’s all for Him. 

Then here is where I let go and I’m freed up to receive.  When I got home from the study, I had a pile of mail to go through.   I had been gone for the weekend. There was a letter from Compassion International that said I had a letter from my child.  I have one other child as well, a little girl from Indonesia.  I was in no hurry to open it as I’m always disappointed if it is from Jamesly.  So, I postured my heart to open it, knowing I was now different.  I could accept his letter now that Jesus is the focus.  So I opened up the letter, it was indeed from him, and it was, get this, a wonderful letter. I am telling you God set me up!  He is the Holy Sneaky.  He set me up!  He set me up by putting on that list the only item that was specific.  None of the other ones were specific and it could have said World Vision or something, but no….it said Compassion International.  How sneaky and smart and wise and perfect!  He blows my mind!  He set me up!

So aside from the lesson for today, He is setting me up for victory in the future.  I know I am to serve Him only and not others or myself through others.  Just Him, absolutely dedicated, specifically 100% devoted where joy will not fluctuate, because he doesn’t wane or change. It is a building block to build my life on.  

My prayer to God:  You must think I’m worth all this effort.  I see Your face smiling as You unwrapped this gift for me.  You knew I’d get it eventually and it was Your great pleasure when I did. Your joy is in revealing yourself to your children and our joy is in seeing You revealed. I just shake my head in total awe at the complexity and, at the same time, the simplicity of your ways.  You ARE the great I AM.  No one does it like You do.  I am so grateful to be Your child.  Thank you for now and for eternity.

Don't let it go to your head

When I tell you I despise that phrase I mean it and I will tell you why.  I grew up living in a world of tears and sadness.  Crying myself to sleep night after night thinking I wasn’t good enough.  On the outside no one knew, it was just me and God that knew and I wondered why He didn’t help me.  The flip side to this is I had a lot of friends and I was successful scholastically, athletically and artistically. So no one knew my secret place that I would go to that always told me “I suck.”  So often when I would achieve a goal or an accomplishment I would hear the phrase, “Don’t let it go to your head.”  Because if it went to my head I might just stop being suicidal?  Or I might think that maybe I had some worth or value? 

As I got older I realized that people could not know what that phrase meant to me or they would never say it.  I personally would never say it to anyone unless it was in some context like, “Honey you are the best husband in the world but don’t let it go to your head because I don’t want to fight all the other women off of you.”  I mean seriously, that is the only way I would use it.  In my mind it is so cruel and yet people flippantly throw it out there.

I recently heard it again and I thought I really better analyze this. The man who said it to me is a kind, caring man for whom I have a lot of respect.  He said it to me in the context of something that was significant and important to me. I was actually happy being able to contribute something to the situation. And there it was, “Don’t let it go to your head.”  Like, “Don’t forget you still suck.”  As if I played for the Chicago Bears or something.  (I’m just kidding of course!)

Ever have those days where you put something on a shelf?  I mean, you are in the moment and you can not deal with something just then but you put it away and decide to look at it later when you can think (or cry).  I put it on a shelf until I got home and wrestled with it before I fell asleep.  What did he mean?  I don’t think he would have told me I suck but why do people use that expression that rips my heart out?  Or do I need to adjust my thinking?  It had to be the latter, because even my husband had used the phrase in the past and I know he loves me and would not intentionally hurt me.

I started to look at it, and here was my baseline when I was growing up.  No worth or value, not having meaning or any significance.  So I lived there and I would hear often, “Don’t let it go to your head.”  No, because if I did, God forbid, I might think my life had some value and I could be good for something.

Then there is the land I live in now and I’m a child of God, I’m a loving person who tries my best and I know God has a plan for me.  My normal place is typically with peace and joy.  So I heard that old familiar and unwanted line, “Don’t let it go to your head.”  And the old record started to play, “Remember you have no worth or value, you will never amount to anything, it would serve you well to remember that.”

Why would a caring person want to inform me that I suck?  It was difficult for me to even imagine they meant something else because in my mind that is where I go every time I hear that phrase.  I can honestly say I lived in the worthless part of it for so long it felt more normal than to even imagine that my ego would become inflated. And I believe now that is what they have always been trying to prevent. But here with Satan’s help and my own insecurities I always thought they wanted me to go to the mindset that I was not good enough.  What an ugly lie.  Over the years I’d get my feelings hurt and misunderstand the saying.  I can’t even imagine getting stuck on myself, which is not where I lived for my whole life.  If I ever did something right or well I would just think, if I could do it anyone can because I surely am nothing special.  

So now I can tell the liar that he doesn’t own me anymore when it comes to triggering something inside of me when I hear, “Don’t let it go to your head.”  This is a good example of miscommunication.  I always felt people wanted to deflate me and here they simply didn’t want me inflated.  I’m not sure I can be inflated for several reasons.  First, my past experiences have been etched in me so deeply. Second, I really don’t like the attention. And third, it’s like it’s not even an option. I’m really level headed and know all too well that I am no better than anyone else as we are all God’s children.

Maybe the next time I hear it I will not feel the stabbing poke and I will be able to accept it in the intention it was meant. We have those things in life that can cause a gut level reaction before we are even consciously aware. Well, this is one for me. I know I will be tested, and I may not pass the first time. I may need to study some more but one thing is for sure, it is out in the open now and can begin to heal.

Many times I felt offended when I heard that phrase and I was wrong but at the time I didn’t know it.  No one meant to offend me; actually it was the opposite, it was sort of an underhanded compliment.  That may be a paradigm shift and requires more thought.  I’m asking myself now, how could I have been that wrong?  You have just witnessed a renewing of the mind.

Helen the Blind Cow

Literally a blind cow named Helen went missing in my neighborhood.  She also has other special needs and somehow she got out of her pen and wandered off or someone took her.  I have looked for other lost animals including one of my goats a couple of years ago when his friend died.  Louie ditched me and went off in the thick brush to mourn.  It’s a helpless feeling when your beloved pet goes missing.  I was taking the garbage out yesterday when my neighbor told me about Helen’s disappearance.  I grabbed my phone and went out searching like many others were.  I asked God where she was and I kept thinking maybe she went back to the barn where she is kept in the winter.  She was not there. I was not as frantic about Helen’s disappearance as I had been about Louie’s but I knew there were a lot of other people very concerned about her.  We have five acres and I was making my second pass on the trails when I heard something.  It didn’t sound like acow but it could have been an animal or a bird.  A little grunt and a little rustle.  That happened three times, so I went closer on an overgrown trail and gently called her name, “Helen, is that you?”  Then I knew it was a cow sound.  At first I thought someone else looking for her was mooing to entice her to answer.  But it got louder and definitive. I called her parents and they came running with tears of joy.  Then she really started to moo.  Poor Helen was really tangled up in some thick brush.  With a lot of effort they got her out and took Helen home and, I’m sure, figured out how to try and prevent another escape.   

I do try to see everything from a God perspective.  He constantly is searching for the lost and He uses us to do it.  I could not sit in my house knowing Helen was missing, that simply was not an option.  I thank God I was sensitive enough to hear the slight noise that I did and help insure a restful night’s sleep for Helen and all the people who care deeply about her.  

Here is my question, how can a person who is born again ever look at their neighbor who isn’t saved and casually dismiss them as “it’s none of my business.”  I don’t know.  The only reason I can think of is they don’t know what they have themselves.  And I don’t mean to be informing  them they will be burning in hell, I mean showing them that life begins at the cross.  I mean real life, real joy, real lasting peace and real power too.  A lot of churches give the message of forgiveness of sins and that is good, but I believe it is an incomplete message. Yes, salvation and forgiveness of sins is a terrific start but it’s not the end. There is this idea in the church that says just hang in there till Jesus comes back and then we can leave this miserable world in the rapture.  What if that is being taught again in part but not the victory message?  What if we are supposed to show Jesus’ power living in us through the Holy Spirit while we are here and not just have it as our ticket to get out alive.  What if the Spiritual Gifts are to be show a dying world that this whole Jesus thing is really twofold about forgiveness of sins and power like it was in the book of Acts in the first century church?  You don’t receive the Holy Spirit without repentance of sins and there is no shortcut to the power. True power cannot fall into enemy hands as only true believers in Jesus Christ have access to it.  

My neighbor’s cow is a precious pet, and also because she has special needs, she found a soft place in the hearts of all who searched for her. Every single human being is just that special in God’s eyes.  He would have believers, true born-again believers, on the lookout for the lost.  If you are not moved by the lost, I have to ask you, are you sure you are really born again?  I could have sat in my comfortable house and said, “I’ll pray but you know after all she’s not my cow.” 

If you are born again, do you know you have the power of the living God inside of you?  When the master comes back, He wants us to be about doing His business. 

Luke 12:35-38  “Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit.  “Be like men who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that they may immediately open the door to him when he comes and knocks.  “Blessed are those slaves whom the master will find on the alert when he comes; truly I say to you, that he will gird himself to serve, and have them recline at the table, and will come up and wait on them.  “Whether he comes in the second watch, or even in the third, and finds them so, blessed are those slaves.

I don’t think He means we should be ready with our bags packed, holding our breath and leaving others behind.  Just saying.

And if you don’t think there is power with the Holy Spirit living inside, please explain this passage to me.

Ephesians 1:18-21  I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

Opening the door for the devil

Nice title huh?  I just came back from the Ark Encounter in Kentucky and the Lord laid on my heart to discuss the ways people open doors for the enemy when it comes to the supernatural. You might ask, what on earth does one have to do with the other? 

If you had someone come to your front door at midnight and ask to come in and you did not know them, in all likelihood you would not give them entrance into your home where your family was sleeping.  You may have a gut feeling about them, so the wise thing to do would be to deny them entrance. 

If you are surfing the web at midnight and you come across a questionable website, opening it up and exploring without discernment is the same as letting the stranger into your home.  You may wonder what harm would it cause, you are just looking. But you see, that is how the enemy gets a foothold in your life. 

Here are three specific cases where being casual about the occult is entering lives. First, I saw recently on social media where someone shared a woman who married a dead man, she calls herself a witch, and is practicing witchcraft. The article was pretty specific about her encounters with “him.”  Second, I saw T-shirts being sold with the message to conjure up demons.  And third, on one of my all time favorite shows on “Masterpiece Theater,” one of the characters consistently uses tarot cards.

Seriously, this is not a game you want to tinker with.  You can say to yourself, “I’m not promoting this stuff, I just think it is funny.”  The occult has been introduced into our society so carefully and strategically that at all levels —including our children’s movies and books—it would seem “normal.” But in reality it is the “paranormal.”  And the paranormal without God as the basis is evil, and might I add dangerous. 

So what does this have to do with the Ark Encounter?  In Kentucky a group has built a replica of what Noah’s Ark would have looked like. It is a massive structure and when you think that the original one was built 6,000 years ago without modern tools and equipment it is mind boggling. Noah heard from God that the world was going to be destroyed. He and his family alone on the ark, were going to be the only survivors along with the animals they brought.      

You can read the story in the book of Genesis. But to step foot inside the replica and hear the crashing waves and thunder and animal noises sent chills down my spine.  This was no easy undertaking for Noah and it took faith in the words of God to follow such instructions.  You see, He did it through Noah for us 6,000 years ago. 

Today we have the cross and I’m here to tell you, He doesn’t want you tinkering in the paranormal. What I mean is that Jesus loves you and wants the best for you and that is Himself . Not witches, demons and tarot cards.  Jesus in one hand and a Ouija board in the other—it just doesn’t add up.  And don’t think I don’t understand, because I get the quest for the supernatural, I really do.  So I’m here to encourage you to focus your attentions on being like Jesus, doing the supernatural miracles He did (and more), and craving the Spiritual Gifts, the authentic gifts from the Holy Spirit not the counterfeit ones of the enemy.  Part of it is knowing His word so you can differentiate and discern between the spirits.  And yes, they all exist, it’s not just a joke or a funny thing to explore.   My best advice is this find yourself a church that teaches the Spiritual Gifts if you don’t have one already, and ask God to open your eyes to see what He sees.

You would agree you would not let the enemy into your home at midnight.  Then your best defense is to fill your home with the presence of God and His Spiritual Gifts so there will be no room for a midnight visitor.