Vindicated & Meek

So what do you do when you are vindicated, defined as “show or prove to be right, reasonable or justified.”  It seems like you have waited decades to be able to have an eye witness that says, “Yes, what she has always said is true and has always been true.”  You have known it in your mind, in your gut and in the evidence. And now you have a live witness seeing for the first time what you have been saying all along.

At first it is sort of unreal to think that someone else may see it too.  I mean, you know it’s always been there and true and available to the public but no one has ever looked close enough. Then after having the witness come forth it is also very satisfying knowing you were right.  And in the beginning it is enough to just be right.  

Then you wonder what you are going to do with this new revelation.  You think about the people it would implicate for wrong doing and all of a sudden the lines begin to blur.  You know you have been hurt so many times over it that you are almost used to it.  Quite frankly, you are used to it.  With a shrug of the shoulders you have learned to pick your battles, and this is one you will not win. But now you have a witness, a cooperative witness, hmmm?  

Maybe I could win this battle but I could never win the war.  And I have thought about this long and hard and the only one who would really lose and get hurt would be me. So I’m going back to a shrug of my shoulders and concede.  To tempt fate and get myself all worked up over this is just dumb.  I may be right, completely 100% right, but I’ll lose in the end.  This is one of those times when I know from past experience that “not by might or by power but by my Spirit.”  So I look to the Ancient of Days resting assured, knowing He knows and has seen it all, recorded it all in His books and by the grace of God, I go. 

That is peace, not peace of a coward but peace of one who knows when to walk away.  I know the pros and cons of engaging and they are not worth the risk, even armed with new information. I am trusting in my God to avenge and make things right.  And I’m doing the battle on my knees and not with my mouth. I really do have the best interests of everyone in mind, I haven’t left myself out as I would have in the past.  Going in full of ammo and cutting words, and a confidence that God is fighting for me.

I’ve grown up so much; honestly I almost don’t know me anymore.  And that is a good thing by the way.  God has taken me and made me meek.  Not weak but meek.  A definition is “strength under control.”  Jesus was meek and went to the cross without uttering a word.  He could have stopped it but with the joy set before Him, He endured the cross, scorning its shame.  Jesus thought of you and me. He gave up His life willingly, knowing the Holy Spirit would come and live in believers, which is the only way for the redemption of our souls.  So instead of winning a battle, He won the war once and for all, literally for all who would receive Him. 

This did not start out as a salvation message, it just sort of took on a life all its own. The world lives by a system of survival of the fittest, make the most money, live in the nicest house, have the best things, etc.  And don’t get me wrong I have a nice life, a very nice life, but I believe I’m storing up my treasures in Heaven.  If it means walking away from a battle here because the profit of it isn’t worth the investment, well I walk away and bank on the books being balanced in Heaven. Those agitating things or people are really here to help us grow.  And sometimes when you shrug your shoulders enough and walk away, the growth is accelerated. 

Something that keeps coming up in my mind is “prerequisite.”  In order to take a class, say Foreign Language 3, you must first have taken Foreign Language 1 & 2. So in order to walk in humility or meekness you have to pass lessons along the way, In a sense they are a foreign language to our human nature.  So for me to take a meekness course, I would have had much training leading up to victory in that area. And what I mean by training is many defeats!  Many, many attempts and times of testing to the point where I can now shrug my shoulders and walk away, not in defeat or being cowardly, but in meekness. 

Here is the kicker, the witness could have showed up years ago, but God waited until I could pass the course and make Him proud by laying down my ammo and walking away.

I keep saying it, but it’s true, He makes me better than I am.